Vanity

When I got in the car and pulled down my visor and flipped open the mirror, I just could not believe it! I stared dumbfounded at the short-haired, red-head staring back at me. I looked down at the receipt in my hand and blinked twice. $150.00. "What just happened?" I asked the red head. Her only defense, "A moment of vanity." I came home and jumped in the shower, scrubbed my head and looked at the bathroom mirror. The same short-haired, red-head looked back. Only this time she was next to tears. I texted my girls and my husband, "I am going to cry. Rosalie dyed my hair red." My husband texted back, "You can now fulfill your lifelong dream of being a circus clown." I vented to my friend next door. She said, "It's not bad, but your eyebrows don't match." "What!!" I ranted, "I don't dye my hair, I don't pluck or color my eyebrows and my husband wants me to join the circus. I was talked into a few highlights to blend in with the gray and a glaze to make my hair shiny. I thought, I want shiny hair. I am so vain!" I continued, "I realize now that I liked my dull, gray hair. And I liked my $150.00. But because of vanity... a vain pursuit for shiny hair... I have to join the circus to earn money to pay my bills." And because I hadn't yet learned my lesson on vanity, I wondered to myself, Do you think anyone will recognize me with all that clown make-up on?

Less Is More

Letting
Every
Single
Senseless
Item
Stay
Messes
Our
Restful
Environment

Epiphany

During a recent trip out to see our son play baseball (2 & 1/2 hours away), I had an epiphany. (As a side note, my son's roommate said my cookies are 4 million times better than the school's cookies. However, the last time I was there he said the school's cookies are crap. Then, is the first statement actually a compliment?) I was thinking about how women allegedly speak twice as many words per day as men speak. I was thinking it's probably true, but only because men listen to only about half of what women say. So, I say to my husband, as he is driving, "You know, men are stupid. If they listened more intently to what a woman says, the woman wouldn't have to say so much." There was no comment from my husband, so I said, "What do you think about that?" To which he replied, "Think about what?" To which I replied, "About what I just said." To which he replied, "Uh, what did you say? I didn't hear anything after, 'men are stupid' and I didn't think that needed a reply." To which I replied, "My point exactly!" To which he replied, "Huh?" To which I replied, "Case closed!"

He Said, She Heard

He said (from across 2 isles at Block Buster with 6 different movies blasting on 6 different T.V. screens), "Hey, here's a movie you might like."

She heard, "Drop what you're doing and come over here, so you can hear what I am saying, which is obviously much more important than whatever it is you are doing."

He said, "I'm going to Shop Rite to get one of those 70% cocoa bars."

She heard, "Since you gave me a hard time at Block Buster, I'm going to the store without you."

He said, "Do you need anything?"

She heard, "If you need anything, get it yourself."

He said, "It doesn't matter what movie we watch, you pick."

She heard, "If the movie is bad, it's your fault."

He said, "Are you okay?"

She heard, "What in the world is the matter with you tonight!"

He said, "I think you are beautiful and I'll love you forever."

She heard that : )

Dinner Is Served

5:45 p.m. This is what dinner looks like. Spaghetti. Just like grandma makes, or is it...?

5:30 p.m. Dinner is almost ready, this is what it looks like before the red gravy goes on. Spaghetti. Just like grandma makes, or is it...?

4:15 p.m. This will be dinner.

I'm cooking up something, but it ain't grandma's spaghetti. It's spaghetti squash. The dinner plate above contains about 85 calories, 5 grams of protein and 3 grams of fat.

It was yummy and my Italian food loving husband (the good sport he is) ate it.

Eating better and loving it.

: )

Yesterday we received a social security check in the mail for a friend that we handle the finances for. I called our friend and told him that when I opened the envelope containing his check, I accidentally ripped the check in half. I told him that right on the check it says, "Will not be cashed if torn or taped. No new checks will be issued." I told him that this month's money would be lost. He stammered, he gulped, he said, "Tell me again, what happened." I told him again. He stammered some more and asked, "What am I suppose to do now? How am I going to pay my rent? What am I going to live on?" I said, "I don't know. Maybe you can call Social Security and ask them what to do." He gulped again. I said, "Do you want the number?" He said, "Okay. Let me get something to write on. Hold on." When he got back to the phone I said, "Are you ready for the number now?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Okay, it's 1-800 . . . April Fools." He stammered, he gulped, he hung up.