Fighting For Pop-Pop

I never thought it would come to this. Two clashing life-styles at total odds. Offspring at cross-purposes. Brothers unable to agree. And a dear man caught on the brink of understanding it all, but unable to grasp the depth of the situation. I think of the choices my husband and I have made over the past 24 years. Decisions designed to have little stress. Simple possessions that we can easily manage, splurging on adventures instead of property; memories born of time spent together not in memorabilia. This is what my parents taught me. This is what Pop-Pop taught my husband. And this is what we are teaching our children. The lessons well learned and appreciated by us have been lost on others. Not everyone in the "sandwich generation" is willing to be sandwiched, opting instead to let an impersonal institution care for the man who served during WWII, has been a great husband, father, grandfather, uncle, son, neighbor, employee and employer. A little balance issue, a little dementia, a few misplaced words are hardly reasons to institutionalize a man. A nursing home is still an institution, no matter what you call it or how you decorate the hallways or the gardens. A man can get lost there, without even leaving his room.

Change Is Good

Change is good, . . . right? I mean, change is good! The seasons change and it's a good thing, we get to see our world in different stages of growth (and death - uh, sorry). It's just that I've been homeschooling my kids for 7 years and I really, really liked it. It really has been the best time of our life. We had experiences together that were magical. Simple stuff, family stuff, educational stuff, fun stuff. I mean, I always knew I couldn't homeschool the kids forever and that things would change and that change is good (. . .right?) So, it's okay that my daughter is away at college and that my son will go on to the technical school and that my other daughter is at the public (yuck) high school and that Pop-Pop is moving in with us and that we will have to get cable TV for him and that we are changing our family room into a bedroom . . . change is good. The words to The Serenity Prayer come to mind. "Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen."

Amen!

Be Still

BE STILL AND KNOW

I AM GOD

Smile

This peaceful spot is in Yellowstone National Park. It's the Fire Hole River. The river is fed by springs that boil up out of the ground and run down a winding path. We picnicked here. Us, the wildlife, the peace, the sounds of the river rushing past us. My son had a satisfying meal of hot dogs and marshmallows cooked over an open fire that he built. We sat in the sun with the cool breeze blowing by. Nothing to disturb our well-being. Just at this quiet reflective moment my son let out a burp so loud that we heard car tires squeal to a halt, they thought for sure they had just stumbled upon a wild animal along the river. My son smiled, waved, got his picture taken and all was right in the world.

On Birthdays and Sea Monkeys

For anyone who is unsure that my family is crazy . . . this should clear that up for you. My 49th birthday was Sunday. We were in Ogden, Utah (don't ask) and I woke up in a lovely room surrounded by my wonderful family - free continental breakfast (the staff fills all the food items to "just filled" and it is their goal to keep it like that. Well, my 14 year old son who eats like a stravin' animal had the staff following him around with boxes of food to replace all that he took). Then my family took me to Antelope Island. Ever hear of it? I didn't think so. It's in the north east end of The Great Salt Lake. Us and about 12 others had the same idea of floating in the lake. The lake is so salty that you literately can't sink. I sat on my husband's floating body and he didn't go under. The only thing that survives in the lake are sea monkeys. Yes, folks, for my birthday I floated in the Great Salt Lake with my family, 12 strangers and a billion, gazillion SEA MONKEYS! Another memorable birthday - thanks family.

We are now in Yellowstone and it's magnificent. I am here with the love of my life and our 3 offspring. There is no place I'd rather be and no one I'd rather be with.

Geography Lesson

So, I have travel anxiety. Most people who know me know this, but not everyone believes me or takes me seriously. But the truth of the matter is that I get myself so worked up before I take a trip that I am near hysterics. My poor family puts up with me. . . . .but, wait- if they didn't make such uber plans, I wouldn't get such uber anxiety. I mean, how many of you can say you've been to Craters of The Moon? Or The City of Rocks? Or The Lewis and Clark Caverns? Or The Astoria Column? Or Orifino, Arco, Hagerman Fossil Bed, Baker City, Eblem????? What are we, a bunch of freaks or something? Who goes from New Jersey to WallaWalla just because a second grader says she wants to? Yellowstone, Yosemite, The Bridge of the Gods, The Needles Highway (can you say car sick?!). It's no wonder I get anxious, I live with a bunch of a nuts. . . . . . .well, they are fun to be with and I guess if they left it up to me we'd never leave the state. (Well, that's not entirely true, I do love the Poconos.) So, if you think of it, pray for me, we leave in an hour and sometime tonight we will be in Ogden and then at Hebgen Lake and then rubbing elbows with the elk in Yellowstone. Maybe Jesus will come while we're in Yellowstone and I won't ever have to get back on that plane ;)

Broken Bone Zone

My friend across the street used to work from home. He had an office in the front of his house which gave him a keen view of my front yard and parts of the back yard. He called me one day and said, "M, (that's what he calls me) I love watching your son play. He's a real boy, a boy's boy, a rough and tumble kid who loves dirt and tools (insert Tim The Tool Man grunt). I can see him playing outside sawing and building and climbing and getting dirty. You're a good mom, M. You let him experience the outdoors like a boy should. I really like that kid of yours. Keep up the good work."

I said, "O, (that's what I call him) I kinda' gotta' run. My son's arm is twisted in a funny sort of way. The ladder he built this morning was slippery from the rain and he fell off it. But, hey, thanks for the call."

With some wood, some nails and some paint, my son, with one arm in a cast, made a sign for our front yard. O could see it from his office window. It read, "Broken Bone Zone"

A Simple Request

So, my son was lying on the floor, crying, unable to stand up and the only witness is a four year old. We were away on vacation and had just decided to stay another few days. It was obvious something was seriously wrong with my son's leg. The ER doctors, Dr. Frick and Dr. Frack, didn't have a clue - they were little boys themselves, I asked one of them if he was on solids yet. My husband and the girls were packing up our little cottage and making arrangements for someone to pick them up while I was at the hospital making arrangements for my baby to have surgery. Dr. Frick held my son while Dr. Frack put a crude body cast on him with a bar between his legs. I was not allowed in my son's line of vision because he wanted me to hold him - I could hear him calling out to me - I needed to pray but I had no words. I found the hospital Chapel, a small room with a kneeler and an old wicker flower basket. In the basket were scraps of used paper for prayer requests and a pencil. I picked up a request which read: "A mother is in need of prayer for her son." I bowed my head and prayed for this mother, I didn't know who she was, but I knew a mother's heart, a mother's pain felt for her son. I prayed with all my heart for this woman and her son, asking Jesus to take care of them like only He could. Then I left the Chapel and found Dr. Frick and Dr. Frack waiting for me. The cast was on and set, my son was sleeping and a nurse would help me pick him up, a room was ready for us for the night, the surgery was scheduled for the next day with a specialist, an ambulance was hired for transportation, and did I need anything from the coffee shop. Wow!! I left a chaotic scene and came back to a calm one. Just then a sweet old woman came up to me and hugged me. She told me that she, too, is a mother and that she hoped I didn't mind but she wrote out a simple request for me and left it in the Chapel. So, all those words I poured out for that mother and her son were words I prayed for us and Jesus answered. He took care of us like only He could.

Flying

My son is 14 - and he's a smart kid. He just knows stuff. When he was 2 we watched the summer Olympics while away on vacation. He loved the high dive competition. While I rested and my husband used the bathroom (sorry, honey, it's just the facts) my son was on the bed and must have been thinking about those high divers. He got up and began jumping on the bed, gaining height with each jump . . . and then he dove right off the bed. My daughter, who was 4 at the time, watched in amazement as he did this. You see, he figured out that the Olympic divers used the diving board to spring themselves into the air, to gain height, to give them time and distance to do those amazing dives. Smart, huh? Imagine a 2 year old figuring all this out in his little head. This week my son had an awesome opportunity to fly an airplane. My son . . . in the air . . . at the controls of an airplane. I think he's always loved being "in the air." The plane landed safely and all is right in the world.

By the way, when he was 2, he landed poorly and ended up in a body cast for 8 weeks. The whole concept of landing was way beyond that of a 2 year old..........

Right Again

When my son was 8 we delivered meals for "Meals on Wheels."
This is one of our conversations (6 years ago) as I remember it.
"Mom, can I get a Play Station?"
"No."
"Why? I will pay for it."
"No."
"WHY?"
"Because you are an 8 year old boy and very capable of playing real games. You do not need any sort of virtual reality."
"Huh?"
"You have a very nice back yard, lots of sports equipment, a bike, a shovel, a tool box, an old radio, scrap wood, toys, games and most importantly friends in the neighborhood to play with. You are healthy and strong. Why do you need a Play Station?"
"But Mom."
"Let's deliver this meal to Mr. Williams. You visit with him while I put the meal out."

Poor Mr. Williams, he lost his wife. His children live far away. He can't drive anymore and most of his friends have passed. He had no one in the neighborhood to play with.

Back in the car, "Mom, when can I get a Play Station??!!"
"When you're as old as Mr. Williams."

Today I read that the local nursing home just bought an X-Box and a Wii for the seniors.

I hate to brag, but.......... I was right again...........oh yeah.........

Scratch The Earth, Part II

Part II

Our friend asked, "Will you tell this to your teenagers?"
"Yes, we will."
"I met a man about forty years ago. He always was curious about what I did, but never asked me directly - so I never told him. He knew I was a Christian - but I never told him so. He knew I ministered to others - but never asked me to minister to him. I saw him not too long ago and he told me about some problems he was having. I asked him if I could pray for him. He said 'yes', so I did. When I was done he said, 'You know, I didn't like you when I first met you.' **hearty laughter from all** I scratched the earth forty years ago, and only got to plant a seed now. Build relationships. Scratch the ground. Plant a seed. Tell this to your children."
"Okay, we will."
"Love you guys."
"You know, we didn't like you when we first met you." **more hearty laughter**
"Well, I've always loved you guys." **tears**
"We always loved you too." **more tears and laughter**

Scratch The Earth

Here is a message told to me and my husband by a dear, dear friend of ours who is very sick. I pray I do it justice.

"I have a lot of time to think and pray because I am too sick to do much else. God has shown me many things. One important thing He has shown me and I want to share with you is this: Our best witness for Him is not in quoting scripture, not in shoving a Bible or a tract in someone's hand but in establishing relationships. No, don't beat anyone over the head with your Bible. Saying, 'Here, read this' means nothing, . . . nothing. But if we can talk to someone, build a relationship, that's like scratching the earth. As we grow in our relationships with others, we drop seeds. Then, we sit back and let God do the rest. Sometimes, we get lucky and see the seed grow. All God is asking us to do is scratch the ground and plant a seed. He will tend to the seed, see that it is watered and grow it. Teach this to your teenagers because it is very important to the Kingdom of God. Tell them to have friendships with all sorts of people. Scratch the ground, drop a seed and grow God's Kingdom."

Ridiculous Dialog

"You're ridiculous!"
"No, you're ridiculous!"
"I'm ridiculous?
"Yes, you're ridiculous!"
"I'm not the one who is being ridiculous here!"
"Oh, so you're saying I'm the one being ridiculous?"
"Are you hard of hearing?? You're ridiculous!"
"Wait, why am I ridiculous?"
"I don't know - you started it!"
"I started it?"
"Yes, you started it!"
"Nuh-uhh! You started it!"

Shamefully, this dialog was between an 18 year old girl and her lovely mother. Poor, dear woman, she's a saint.

"She is not!"
"She is too, and get off my blog!"

The Tinkerer

My father was a tinkerer. He had this little workshop in the basement. The room was mostly below ground, with one high rectangular window. The room was always dark, even on the brightest of days. On those bright days you could see every dust particle that floated in the air in the stream of sunlight that came through that window. My father had a bare light bulb that he turned on by screwing it in by hand, turning it off by unscrewing it. He had a soldering tool, a wood burner, old mayonnaise jars filled with nails, screws, nuts and bolts, a saw, a screwdriver, a hammer, some twine, some paint, some turpentine and a vice. He fixed the toaster once, my mother's electric frying pan and the iron. His garage work area consisted of a push mower, a shovel, an electric hedge clipper, a ladder, a bench, scissors and a clipper. He mowed the lawn, trimmed the hedges, pruned the trees, painted the rocks, and made a pond with an old kitchen sink. He worked 9 - 5 and a few nights a week. He seldom got phone calls, never knew a Home Depot, never had fast food or cable TV. Yet, he was satisfied. What he had was all he needed. His wife, his home, his children, his family and his small set of tools. He tinkered with his tools and he was satisfied. It is not in the amount of possessions you have, but what you do with the ones you do have.

I'm Begging Your Pardon

I have just been on a wild adventure. It was exhausting and exhilarating and intense. I was at it for about 4 hours yesterday and nearly 3 hours the day before. I couldn't do it alone so I took along a dear friend of mine (Thanks L). The stamina, the staying power just to get through has depleted me of all energy. You must be curious as to what we've been up to ..........
I booked my family on a 12 day trip to the northwest using Frequent Flyer miles!! You would think I was asking the airlines to give me a private plane! I needed our card numbers and our pin numbers, I needed to find a flight that had flyer mile seats available (it seems I was able to get us to a destination, but not get us back), then I had to hold the reservation, call a different number to "divide out" mileage, call back to make the reservation a ticket - but guess what? one member of our family didn't have enough mileage, so I needed to transfer mileage and guess what? that cost me $165.00. Then somehow in the 1 hour and 15 minutes that it took me to transfer mileage, the airfare went up and so did the amount of miles needed to get a "free" flight (it cost $30.00 per person to get your free flight). Now I had to pay for one ticket and only get 4 free tickets. After all was said and done, I sat back and excitedly said to my husband, "We're booked for a 12 day trip to Yellowstone National Park and it cost us less than $700.00 to get there!" He said, "Great, do we have good seats?" "WHAT? I DON'T THINK I GOT US SEAT ASSIGNMENTS YET?" This is the short version of my conversations with the airline's satellite office in India.
Airline: "gibberish."
Me: "Are you speaking English?"
Airline: "Si"
Me: click
Airline: (with heavy accent) "My name is Natalie and here I am to help you."
Me: (soft prayer to self) "I need seat assignments for my trip. I have 5 confirmation numbers and I'd like us to sit all together."
Natalie: "We have 23 A,B,C,E & F"
Me: "What happen to D?"
Natalie: "I'm begging your pardon."
Me: "Never mind. How many rows are on the plane?"
Natalie: "23."
Me: "I don't want to be in the last row next to the bathroom and in seats that can't move back."
Natalie: "I can give you 18E and F, 19 A and B and 21 F."
Me: "Are these window, middle or isle seats?:
Natalie: "Yes."
Me: "I'm begging your pardon? I mean, I'll just go online and see if I can do better myself."
Natalie: "I am happy today that I am here to help you and if you need anymore service I am happy to help you again. Have a nice day and thank you for calling me."

I'm so tired - it's a good thing I have a few weeks to recover before our trip...............

Take A Hike

Vacations are important, no matter how short, no matter where to, no matter the weather, no matter what. It's important to step aside from the busyness of our lives and to sit back and observe the world from a resting position. It's just not healthy to be in drive all the time. We need to rest our engines, put it in neutral, cool our jets, put it on the back burner, let it simmer, (you get the idea) or just turn it off. God gives us this example in the first book of the Bible ". . .and He rested on the seventh day from all His work . . ." How do you imagine God rested? Did He sleep? Observe the world He just created? Plan man? Eat? Hike? Swim? Fly a kite? Body surf? Have a party with His peeps (you know, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, the angels)? (Is it a sin to call Jesus and the Holy Spirit peeps?) I like to imagine He went to the beach and quietly observed the seas and then went to the mountains and quietly observed the land. And then I imagine He went and contemplated all He had just created and made plans . . . plans for me and for you, for all His children. Imagine, the Creator of the Universe thought of me and you on the seventh day . . . how cool is that? I love vacations - they give me time to observe the world and contemplate....................

Pay Attention

While chatting with a friend, I discovered that I have changed my way of communicating since I have teenagers. I use strategies rather than just plain talking. I'm thinking that part of this is because of the age we live in, there are just too many distractions, but part of it is dealing with teenagers. I'm not sure how effective this is, or how appropriate it is in all situations, but I think it works . . . and I'll be sure to ask the kids the next time I get their undivided attention. So here it is. As I talk to the kids, I fit everything into a neat little paragraph and I move around a lot, and when I think I'm losing their attention, I charge at them and halt right before slamming into them. If they weren't paying attention to me before this move, they certainly will be more attentive after this. Stamping my feet right next to their bare feet works, too. Oh, and the little air horn - works like a charm. But, as in all things, there is a need for balance and boundaries. I mean, someone who was getting coffee at the Quicky Mart would not be at all happy about being startled by an air horn - nor would be the teenager who works there that has to clean up said coffee - nor would my daughter who claims she's already listening. Me, on the other hand, I'd be thrill from the 3 high five's I'd get on the way out from other moms. I just love all the attention ..............

Texting - Part III

Texting is antisocial. There, I said it. I am not buying the argument that (please read this with a high pitched whine in your voice for the full effect), "I talk to more people now than ever before because it's easier to text someone than it is to call them." Ha - that proves my point!! If you don't have enough social skills to talk to someone in person or over the phone you aren't going to learn any social skills by texting someone. Social skills are a learned behavior that takes self confidence and a certain amount of poise which you cannot learn while texting. Social skills are to be practiced in a variety of situations. Texting friends is not really being social. Yes, it's communication, but on a very primitive level. It requires no finesse (and apparently no spelling or grammar either). Half the fun of interacting with someone is . . . well . . . interacting. Maybe if our teens learn better social skills they will find a spouse and leave home sooner (jk). All I'm saying is that teens are way to connected to their cell phones and this does not mean they are being social. It is really the opposite, they talk less in person and have become less comfortable talking to their peeps in person, opting instead to text each other. This is the end of my tirade, if you don't like it, send me a text - I'm not comfortable with confrontations.

Texting - Part II

Texting is rude - as Jar-Jar Binks would say, "How wude!" The whole "multi-tasking" thing is very disturbing to me. It gives people (when I say people I really mean teenagers) the impression that sharing your attention between two or more tasks is okay. In my book, it's just rude. Whatever happen to "undivided attention?" In most parenting books I read back in the late 80's and early 90's, the advice du jour was to give your children undivided attention (now it's quality time - I'm not digging that either - I got issues). Multi-tasking was a no-no. Listen to your children, set aside whatever it is that you are doing and give your child your attention, make your child feel as though they are more important than any task at hand. I followed that advice - I hung up the phone, I let the dinner simmer, I turned off the TV, the radio, the computer, set the bills aside and never interrupted them. I thought that the pay off was to have the same respect from them. Then along came cell phones and text messaging. I liked the idea of being able to call my child no matter where they were, so I was okay with them having phones (that they paid for, of course). But I didn't realize that the costs (texting while I am speaking) would out weigh the benefits. I mean, I really don't like to quote a Gungan, but "How wude!" I see people (and when I say people, this time I mean people) texting while driving, eating dinner out, shopping, walking the dog, navigating busy sidewalks, in the classroom, in the bathroom, in the post office . . . you get the picture. Ugh, it makes me crazy. This is not multi-tasking, it is just plain rude! Are you listening to me??? I can't tell because your fingers are going at mach speed!!! Why is your pocket vibrating while I am talking to you??? You're grounded, text that!

to be continued...............

Texting - Part I

This is my opinion on text messaging . . . if you are one of the millions of people addicted to texting, please skip this . . . text messaging is bad for your mental health and it makes you stupid. How? Well, if every time a thought pops into your head, you text it to a friend, a spouse, yourself, or everyone in your address book, you give yourself permission not to commit that thought to long term memory. You are training yourself to text it and forget it, thus denying yourself full use of your God-given brain, thus shrinking your brain power, thus making you stupid. You never have to make a "mental note" of anything because you just text it. I know people who frequently text themselves. I mean, if you have a disease and you know your brain is not functioning at full capacity, then I see no problem texting yourself to remember something (like "take your meds"). But, if you are a healthy individual, you are just encouraging poor mental health and stupidity in yourself. And, furthermore, is every thought that pops into your head really worth remembering and sharing?????????????? Plus, how bad is it to forget to defrost that chicken (really, that's what microwaves are for). My kids just think I'm too cheap to get text messaging, but really I'm just being smart.