Stupid Things

Like many people, I keep a supply of items in my car for emergencies. Pain reliever, water, a flashlight, a blanket, an umbrella, bug spray and, of course, hairspray. You never know when you're going to have a bad hair day, right? Yesterday was just that, a bad hair day. On my way to the gym I noticed my hair was a mess (don't judge me). I reached over and grabbed the familiar green bottle and sprayed my hair in perfect place. My eyes began to tear so I pulled into the parking lot at the gym and reached over and grabbed the saline (another emergency item). I rinsed my eyes. When my vision returned I saw that I had sprayed bug spray on my hair! By the way, bug spray holds your hair into place just as well as hairspray, though I would not recommend this unless it is a true hair emergency. Earlier that day I was walking with my husband and the puppy. We met, formally for the first time, neighbors that have lived on our block for 2 years (again, don't judge me). The wife is pregnant. She was refinishing a bed frame and not having a good time at it. I told her to use her "pregnancy card." Then, because that wasn't dumb enough, I complained about how the puppy wanted me to carry him home because he was tired. I said, "Sheesh, he's the one with four legs, I only have two" . . . to be continued. . .