What Did You Learn In Kindergarten?

I have heard folks saying, "all I really needed to know I learned in kindergarten." Well, I have to say I disagree. In kindergarten I ate like a slob, I hated napping, I hit others when I didn't get my way, I made messes that I left for others to clean up, I didn't listen, I lied, I picked my nose and I forgot my address. In fact, my report card from kindergarten states that I knew my name and address the first semester, but not the second semester. Obviously, I needed to learn beyond kindergarten. And beyond that, I needed to learn some important stuff that you just don't learn in school. Did you know that when you throw a party for 65 people it's the coffee and cake that matters more than the dinner food? Did you know that honoring the "guest of honor" with an embarrassing but heart-felt poem is more touching a gift than a jewel? Did you know that greeting your guests with sincere enjoyment is better than sounding trumpets to announce them? Did you know that love is the most important ingredient in party preparation? Do you know where I learned all this from? Not from my teachers, not from my friends, not from Emily Post . . . I learned from watching my mother. Thanks Mom, I hope you enjoyed the party even though that monster moth seemed to love you as much as I do . . .