Saturday, October 31, 2009

Are You Smarter Than A Twit?

Has anyone else made the connection between the two words, twitter and twit? Am I the only one? A twit, put kindly, is a bothersome person. Twitter, put kindly, is chatter of trivial matters. How low has our society gone? Are we getting twitter updates on anything that matters? Sorry, I have to say it, but if you use Twitter, you must be a twit or, put kindly, a bothersome person. Honestly, who cares about everything you are doing? Even nosy Italian mothers don't want to know the stuff that folks put on Twitter. It is truly a good thing that evolution is just a theory and not a fact, because if it were a fact, our next generation of children would be born with tiny little thumbs, long and slender, pointy at the tips for quick texting and twittering on tiny little devices. And our brains, which we now realize have the potential to start learning while still unformed in their mommy's uterus and don't stop learning until death, would begin to shrink. Surely, we would become a world of small minded, bothersome people. Luckily, evolution is just a theory and twits will not prevail. I urge you, put down you cell phones, your Blackberries, your Bluetooths - unplug and disconnect - give up your mindless twitter and engage in activity that does not require the exclusive use of your thumbs and exclude the use of your imagination. Just sayin' . . .

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Tooth Brushes and Hand Sanitizer

One day about 16 years ago I took my 2 children, 10 months and 3 years old, to Burger King for cookies and milk. It was the Spring and the kids liked to play (crawl) in the outside gym. As we left to go home I saw an old man in the parking lot scrounging through the garbage. I held on tightly to one daughter's hand while I carried the other in an infant seat. I noticed his torn flannel shirt, his unshaven face, the old shoes and dirty pants. As we walked passed him he looked up at me with one hand still in the garbage can. I felt a surge of sympathy for this man who had to pick through the discarded scraps left by others for his meal. I stopped and asked him if I could buy him a hamburger. He grumbled, "Hamburger - Hello!" (I added the o.) "I lost my teef!" It took me a second to register what he was telling me. He continued, "I done throwed them in the trash!" What could I do? I put down my daughters and helped him find his teef, I mean teeth, that he had wrapped in a napkin and accidentally throwed, I mean threw, in the trash. After about a minute, I yelled, "I think I found them! Ewww, I mean, here you go." He quickly took them from me and without hesitation (or washing) he put them in his mouth and smiled at me. I said, "Well, we need to go now. Have a nice day." My 3 year old, who was forever asking me questions, asked, "Where are we going, Mommy?" I answered, "To get tooth brushes and hand sanitizer, Sweetie."

Monday, October 26, 2009

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My daughter and I had a wonderful trip to Tennessee. We toured a college campus, ate in the cafeteria, shopped at the campus book store, went to the school's play, drove through down town (my daughter blinked the first time, so we needed to take a second drive through), dined at Sonic, Bimbo's and The Waffle House (after eating the best pecan waffles I've ever had, I said to my daughter, "Forget college, let's just open up a Waffle House instead."), went in a cave, road the railroad, saw a movie, played cards and survived a haunted hotel. Spending time with my daughter was the most fun part of the trip. She's smart and sassy and witty and she makes me laugh out loud. She makes me think. She is considerate and kind and full of life. She desires to please God and intends to enjoy every minute doing it. My daughter really liked this college (me too, I guess) and that was the only misfortune of the entire trip. It's her top choice right now. I don't want it to be her top choice, I don't want her to like it, I don't want her to go all the way to Tennessee for school, I don't want my baby 800 miles away from her mama. So, when the folks at Sonic, at Bimbo's, at the Waffle House, at Shop Rite, at the cave and at the school said to her, "Y'all come back now." I turned and looked them right in the eye and said, "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thanks Mon

I received this award from 2 really sweet blogger ladies in Jamaica. Verne and Ruth. For the spirit that it was given, I am humbled. I am thrilled right down to my core that folks actually are entertained by my rants and observations of the world around me. My little world is small, yet so full and it is my belief that God has blessed me immensely with His Grace even though I am just a worm. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your kindnesses.

My little world will expand a bit today as I am to travel to Tennessee to see a college with my daughter. Folks in the south are never quite sure how to take us New Jerseyians. We talk so darn fast that sometimes we have long conversations all by ourselves and no one understands a single word we are saying. They just nod and smile. They will surely be impressed with my daughter as she is smart and witty and lovely and sharp. I love and respect her greatly and look forward to see this college through her eyes. Now, if I can only keep my mouth shut . . . .

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

But Did They Like Me?

My daughter was home for lunch Sunday. We had company (a lovely family that exemplify true service to Christ and who really make us laugh) and my daughter came in half-way through the meal (of delicious potato soup and fresh bagels and fruit - yummy). She had been to her church in the morning. I couldn't wait to ask, "Did they like me, the ladies at the retreat?" She said, "I guess, what are you 7?" I said, "What do you mean, 'I guess' and no, I'm not 7!" I really wanted the ladies to like me even though I was like the enemy coming in to sabotage their battle plan against the bulge with a really good cake. And I know it was good too, because some of the ladies had seconds and some didn't even use forks, they just picked up the cake and ate it with their fingers - just sayin'. I may come across as a confident and secure gal but behind those Christopher & Banks outfits and my casual wit and humor (haha - see) is an insecure lady. So I asked again, "But did they like me?" She said, "I guess . . . they all just wanted to know if you liked them." Go figure, while I'm wondering if they liked me, they were wondering if I liked them. And I did like them, they were real and sweet and kind and honest and 20 minutes after we got there most of them changed into comfortable sweats or pj's. So now, I like them even more knowing they are just a bunch of insecure ladies too!

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Ladies Retreat

My oldest daughter invited me to a ladies retreat with her. I was just a tiny bit thrilled :) While she has been away at college she found a small church that she loves. I had been wanting to meet these folks to thank them for being so kind to my daughter. This retreat would be the perfect opportunity for me to thank the ladies in-person for their love and kindness. The retreat title was "Winning The Battle Of The Bulge - It's Not Just About The Weight." I gave the title very little thought - winning battles is a great theme considering we fight so many of them each day, if not with the kids, the dog, the vacuum cleaner, the seat belt (don't ask), it's with the unseen spiritual battles that are ever present. I wanted to spend some time with my daughter in a beautiful setting in the Poconos learning how to fight spiritual battles. I bought a new outfit at Christopher & Banks (I wanted the ladies to like me) and I baked something very special for us to bring (I wanted the ladies to like me - did I mention that already?). My daughter called me the day before we were to leave and said she was sick and didn't think she could go. Fast forward - we were able to go just for Saturday night's dinner and the evening session with the guest speaker. To my surprise the theme really was about weight. . . a diet plan to help fight the battles that cause women to gain weight. Guess what that special thing was that I baked and arrived with on Saturday night . . . a chocolate chip, cream cheese cake with thick, home-made chocolate icing. Yes, folks, I walked into a room filled with ladies that were trying to win the battle of the bulge with a cake. . . oops. . . do you suppose they liked me?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Vacuuming Stinks!

With 2 adults, 2 teenagers, 2 cats and 1 dog living in 1 house in the fall, vacuuming can be a daily activity. Since I don't like to waste time or energy it makes me so mad when I have a fight with the vacuum cleaner. My teenagers are very attractive - that is, they attract dirt, leaves, dust and the like, which all ends up on the carpet, which I must vacuum. I don't mind vacuuming really. It's good exercise and I love making those lines in the carpet by vacuuming forward for as far as you can reach and then pulling the vacuum cleaner backwards. For as long as the kids, the cats and the dog are out of the house, it looks clean and I like that. Today, my vacuuming experience was not so pleasant. First, after I vacuumed the entire downstairs (much to my daughter's dismay as she was trying to sleep in - sorry honey), I vacuumed right up the stairs in to the kitchen and that's where the trouble began. I vacuumed up 1/2 a dozen plastic grocery bags that I didn't see under the kitchen table and attempted to pull them out while the vacuum cleaner was still running. I don't know why but I hate to turn the vacuum cleaner off until I'm done. Then, the little kitchen rug got caught up in the bottom and the belt began to burn. Then, I saw one of those little beady eyed stink bugs and sucked him up. I smiled in victory over the dirt and grime that were no longer invading my home and that dead stink bug that dared to enter my house . . . until the smell of burnt rubber and dead stink bug permeated the kitchen. I had no choice but to change the vacuum cleaner bag and belt before their time and that is why vacuuming stinks!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Distracted Much?

This post is for Parsley - this morning I got up (a little later than I had hoped), put on the computer, cleaned up some dishes, made some eggs and spinach with cheese (yummy), opened my water bottle and set out my vitamins to take. I have to take my vitamins as soon after I eat as possible for better absorption and for the least amount of stomach upset. The phone rang and I dusted the living room and dining room while I chatted. So, then when I hung up, I dusted the bedroom since I had a rag in my hand anyway. I went to the bathroom and decided to clean the sink and empty the bathroom garbage and so as not to put a dirty wipe in the new garbage bag, I wiped down the entire bathroom with Clorox wipes and put them in the old garbage bag. I went downstairs to throw out the garbage and saw the vacuum cleaner and decided to vacuum the steps. The husband saw me and asked me to send an important email for him - I obliged. Downstairs, I picked up 2 empty bottles, 2 dirty plates and a hand full of dirty tissues (teenagers - augh!) and somehow never got the vacuum cleaner to the steps. I went to the recycling can in the kitchen with the empty bottles and saw my vitamins and open bottle of water at the table. My belly is empty by now and so I need to eat again before I can take my vitamins. So, while I am toasting my bread for a peanut butter and honey sandwich (yummy), I decided to write a post about how distracted I can be. But now I must go because I smell something burning . . .

Monday, October 5, 2009

All Was Right In The World

My husband and I had a real thrill yesterday. For the first time we met Indian Lake Papa and Mama. He kept on insisting that he didn't know us and even though he was wearing a hat that read, "Indian Lake Papa" he insisted we had the wrong fellow. Well, we just sat down and had lunch with him and his lovely wife and his mother-in-law anyway. Folks, I just want to say that Papa is the real deal. He truly is among the most genuine of Christian spirits I have met. He has a gentle, quiet spirit that whispers peace and joy. He lives what he has cultivated - a life of love and warmth and friendship. And he's quite the comedian, too. It was a wonderful lunch that went by way too fast. I am so grateful for the way blogging has opened up new friendships to me and how upon meeting each other we felt like old friends. He said that he has come to respect my blog and I am still smiling about that. I told him that I love how he reaches his readers with his humor and real life examples - nothing pretentious about his blog - or about him. What he thinks of me and my husband . . . well, after we took off the nose and glasses, all was right in the world.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Finance To Second Graders?

My husband volunteered (got drafted) to teach a four hour class on finance to second graders for Junior Achievement. They needed more volunteers (draftees) so he asked me if I would teach it with him. Since I'm in favor of juniors achieving, I said yes. Junior Achievement sent us a packet of information to present to the second graders. It was . . . clunky (for the lack of a better word) and . . . (the better me won't say). So, I called my daughter at college, she loves second graders, and we wrote a really fun program using the concepts Junior Achievement wanted us to present (tanky, honey). Using stories and illustrations and activities and brainstorming and some really solid Biblical principles (without mentioning God because we were in a public school), we taught a great class today. My husband is a big, virile guy who goes into prisons to teach the word of God. He has been a coach to kids ranging in ages 5 - 15. He's not afraid of the dark and he's not afraid of my mother. So, it was kinda' cute that he was afraid of 25 second graders today. He got over that pretty quickly and it was fun for the students and fun for us. At the end of our presentation the teacher asked the kids what two important words they want to say. 24 of the 25 kids sang out, in unison, "Thank you," while one lone kid said, "I'm sorry." What a hoot - I wonder what he's been up to lately. . .