"I Ain't Letting No Chinese Dude Hold My Hand" - Conclusion

..."Sorry, Nancy, I don't go into back rooms and disrobe my feet for anybody. It's either out in the open or not at all," I said while digging my tired, un-pampered heels into the ground. "Okay, my chicken little friend, this is my treat to you. We'll do it your way," she replied. I whispered, "Stop calling me chicken little, they're vegetarians." Fast forward 10 minutes: we are now laying back in big cushy chairs, in the front of the parlor, where the receptionist answers the phones and folks come in to get their vegetarian dumplings and herbal teas. Nancy has her head back, is half asleep with her eyes closed and is moaning softly. I had my head back, but with only one eye closed. I kept sweeping the parlor, Nancy, the 2 little Chinese men, the receptionist and the variety of people coming and going with the open eye (just call me Jack Bauer). After 15 minutes, I was bored, so I started talking to Nancy. "Hey, Nance, at the Hershey Park Spa they dip your feet in warm chocolate. I think they dip your hands in warm chocolate too." She said, "Oh, have you been there?" I laughed, "Nancy, have I ever been to any spa??!!" We laughed and talked for the next 45 minutes. It was delightful, after all was said and done. I probably won't ever do something like that again, but I'm happy for the experience. When I came home, my husband asked, "So, how was it?" "Well," I replied, "I didn't let the Chinaman hold my hand." I expected him to question me, but instead, he gave me a peck on the cheek, a pat on the back and said, "That's my girl."

"I Ain't Letting No Chinese Dude Hold My Hand" - Part II

..."I don't know, Nancy...I'm not sure about a reflexology appointment," I said. "Come on friend. It's my treat, it'll be fun," she said. Reluctantly, I agreed to go. We drove to a little whole in the wall, in the next state. We walked in through hanging beads. All I could think was, "How many bodies have passed through these beads?" while looking for my hand sanitizer. This place specializes in messages, vegetarian dumplings (of all things) and Chinese herbs and teas. They also had a huge purple room set aside as a shrine to Buddha (who, by the way, does not have a healthy body image, just saying). Now I am thinking, "What have I gotten myself into!" 2 little Chinese men came out of the back and ask if we want our hands done too. I turned to Nancy and said, "I ain't letting no Chinese dude hold my hand. I only let my husband hold my hand." Nancy laughed. "You're silly," she said to me. To the Chinese men, she said, "Only the feet for my friend." Then, they directed us through more hanging beads (ewww) to the back and told us to go inside separate rooms. "Nuh-uh! I ain't going into a back room with anybody!" Nancy laughed. "You're silly," she said to me. To the Chinese men, she said, "My friend is chicken little." I'm thinking at this point, "Call me whatever you want, but I am putting my un-messaged foot down!" To be continued . . .

"I Ain't Letting No Chinese Dude Hold My Hand" - Part I

A few years ago my daughters decided I was underprivileged because I never had a pedicure. They saved their money and said, "Mother, because you have been the best mother ever, in fact, a mother like no other, (okay, literary license) we have saved our money and are sending you for a pedicure." I was thrilled. Finally, someone else to do my little piggies that spent endless hours running to and from the market. I planned on a meal out at the brick oven Italian restaurant, all by myself, before my pedicure. No one to interrupt my thoughts, no one to serve, no disputes to settle amongst the children - just me, daydreaming, praying, eating a meal without rushing. Sounds lovely, right? Well, it didn't exactly turn out that way. 3 people saw me by myself and wanted to sit with me. 2 actually sat down and ordered drinks before I politely told them to scram. Then, I had to wait 15 minutes for my pedicure "appointment". The water in the tub was so hot I immediately got flushed and had a hot flash. It didn't help that the woman next to me had gross toe fungus or that the sweet Asian women keep on speaking to each other, looking at me and giggling. The nail polish I picked was almost empty, but they used it anyway. 7 toes into my first-ever pedicure the polish ran out and they had to use another bottle of polish that didn't exactly match. Not the professional look I was going for (sheesh, I could have done that). So, when my dear friend called me this week and offered to take me for a reflexology appointment, her treat (because "you are a friend like no other" - she really did say that), I was skeptical . . .

Decision Well Made

"Why aren't you blogging?" many folks asked. My answer has been, "I'm too busy." That's not entirely true. The real reason is that I was not in a great place. Lord knows I like to embellish the truth, or tell the truth in a funny way. I write the truth as I see it, through my lense, which is usually silly (y'all know I can't make this stuff up, right?). It was hard for me to write this summer because we had some heavy things on our minds. I know my friends love me during every season, but they enjoy me more during the good seasons and I like to be a joy to others. So, I didn't write because I wasn't seeing the joy or the silliness. We had decisions to make regarding the boy's final year of high school. He had a great year at the military school and they wanted him back (they offered him scholarships and leadership positions). But the bottom line was he didn't want to be away from home. What was best? Do we send him somewhere we know he'll succeed but would be unhappy OR do we let him stay here and hope and pray he makes good choices? Clean, quiet, empty room at the end of the hall OR messy, noisy, occupied room at the end of the hall? Life up OR life up-side-down? Well, I'd tell you about it, but the boy wants to know if I made his lunch yet, if his pants are dry and if I can pick him up after baseball practice tomorrow. Decision well made.

Here! And here, oh, and here...

My last post I asked, "Where was I anyway?"
Well, I was here...

and here...

and here...

and here... (puppy won "Best of Show")

and finally, here...

and now, I am here. . . sitting in front of the blue glow from my computer screen, losing my tan.

Hurricane Irene Miracle

Hurricane Irene hit our little burg in New Jersey. The exterior of our house was spared almost completely. A few tree branches sprinkled our property. One branch was rather large, but it did not damage a single thing. The trees needed pruning anyways and so, Irene saved me from hiring someone to do it. Leaves flew everywhere, but fortunately for us, leaves don't hurt anything. Somehow, though, Irene made her evil way into the boy's room. As you can see, it caused quite a whirlwind. Miraculously, the boy was unharmed. In fact, he slept right through it. The boy has assured me he'll get right on the clean up.

I hope you are all well (if you still bother to check my blog), and I have missed you dearly. Where was I anyway? Be blessed dear ones!