The Soccer Series - Part IV

The Snack-Nazi

A Snack-Nazi is someone who, with all good intentions, takes over the half-time snack and the end-of-game snack distribution schedule. I once read in an old book called "A Yankee Hobo In The Orient" that if you give a relatively nice person a bit of power you can say good-bye to that relatively nice person. This held true for the once nice lady who took over the snacks. The first thing she did was to make a list of all the parents - whether they volunteered to supply snacks or not - including the coaches wife (i.e., me) and assigned them dates to bring snacks. Then she gave each parent "The List". The list contained two columns - one side had "Suggested Approved Snacks", the other side simply read "Unacceptable". She gave me The List and to my surprise, I was the first one scheduled to bring snacks! Not only did I have to remember to bring the score book, cold water, the goalie nets, soccer balls, the first aid kit, ice packs, bee-stink rub, the kids and the coach with his whistle (jk)- now I had to bring snacks. And not just whatever snack was on sale, but approved snacks. I kid you not, tofu was an approved snack. I lost the list and brought grapes and granola for half-time and lemon ice and Hi-C for after the game. Whole grapes were not approved because they were a choking hazard and granola was not approved because it may contain nuts and some kids may be allergic. Lemon ice and Hi-C were not even on her radar, they were neither approved nor unacceptable. After the game, I was stripped, permanently, from the list and from ever having to bring snacks again. Mission accomplished . . .