Pass The Food

This is my theory: The earth spins on its axis because God has balanced every single thing in the Universe, the water - land ratio, the high - low tides, the daytime - nighttime hours, gravity, inertia, thermodynamics . . . you get the idea. It's a uniquely accurate system that He put into motion at the beginning of time. It's so precise that He knows the weight of everything on the planet................... so, if there were to be a mis-balance or mis-distribution of weight, the earth would spin off its axis and chaos would ensue............so, you see (bear with me, I'm getting to the point), the fact that my dear friend has lost weight recently due to illness is the reason I have put weight on. If one person loses weight, one person must gain it in order to keep the earth spinning on. So, you're welcome for keeping the balance, harmony and equilibrium of our precious planet .............. it has been my sincere pleasure to do my part by overeating at meals, eating in between and eating dessert. To you, my dear friend, pleeeeeeeeease get better, I need to fit into my bathing suit this summer .............. ;)