My Bad

Thanksgiving food shopping can be daunting. Over the years I've developed a few skills to help me survive. However, I made a few mistakes this year. First, never go to your local grocery store where people know you. (But, if you must, never go in your sweats and do take time to put on lipstick.) This year, instead of going to my regular grocery store 10 miles away, I went to the local grocery store 3 miles away. That was the first mistake. We've lived in this town for 23 years so we pretty much know everyone who works and shops there. When I go food shopping, I don't go to have fun. I go to get the shopping done. It's nearly impossible to get the shopping done when in every isle someone knows you. My husband offered to come with me and I said, "Sure." That was the second mistake. My husband likes to have fun no matter what he does or where he goes. This was a bad combination. Second, never make eye contact with anyone and always pretend to be reading your shopping list. This year I didn't make a list nor did I tell my husband not to make eye contact. That was the third mistake. He talked to every single person he knew and a few he didn't know. Third, if you must talk to someone, never, never ask them how they're doing. I didn't tell that to my husband either. Mistake number four. So, 3 and 1/2 hours later when we were finally checking out and my husband was chatting with the cashier and he said something like, "Well, that was fun," is it any wonder I threw a tomato at him?