M & M

Daughter number 1 has this. . .this. . .uh. . .quirky (for lack of a better word, which he'll be sure to point out) friend. He's very interesting, but I never know if he's "for real." Sometimes, I just don't "get" him. For instance, he came to the door one day and said, "Do you want to see my goats?" I'm thinking, "Is he for real?" He says, "They're in the car." So I said, "Oh, that's funny. I get it. I'll go out to see the 'goats' and my daughter will be like, where's my mother? And you'll be like, I don't know, she said something about going to see the goats in my car - pfft. And the two of you will get a big kick out of it. You can't make a fool out of me!" So, he's all like, "Hmm, I didn't realize you were so suspicious. But, I have to admit, that'd a been a good one." Okay, so this quirky friend of my daughter really did have goats in the car (who does that??) and I'm learning to "get" him a little better. Actually, just give him a cup of regular coffee at 10 pm and he'll talk up a storm. So, he was over last night and he asked (very boldly I may add) if we had a new New Year's alliteration for 2009. He was slightly amused by the "balance and boundaries" resolution that lasted for 3 years and down right giddy over the "healing and harmony" of last year. So, here's our 2009 New Year's resolution alliteration - I hope you like it quirky goat boy - "Manners and Meekness".

9 Lessons From My Father

1. You don't have to be a great athlete to be a good sport.

2. Don't lie because if you do, you'll have to remember it for the rest of your life, lest you be caught. A lie becomes something you must carry always, and it weighs heavy on your heart.

3. Be kind to strangers. God loves a happy giver.

4. You don't have to be a beauty to be beautiful.

5. Save the insults for later, you'll be glad you did.

6. Be generous with your compliments and affection.

7. A good listener learns more than a great speaker.

8. Volunteer -it helps you appreciate what you have.

9. If you need help, ask God, if you don't, thank God.

My father taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all.

Happy Pi Day!!!!

Daughter number 2 made this chocolate pie today in celebration of Pi Day.

You gotta love a kid who does that!

Delayed Gratification

When my daughter turned 8 she received a check from her grandparents. She wanted to spend the money on an American Girl Doll, Felicity. The check equaled the amount of the doll. Being that she was 8, my husband and I decided to use this as a teaching tool in delayed gratification and decision making. We took her to the calendar and told her that if in 6 months she still wanted the doll and if she didn't spend the money on anything else, she would indeed be able to get her doll. Her birthday was November 18th - the date to order the doll was May 18th. Every month the 18th was clearly marked in red with "__ months till Felicity." Every month we discussed the whole concept of being sure before spending your money, delayed gratification and so on. . . it was torturous for my daughter. On May 18th we ordered Felicity. On May 26th the doll came. What a glorious day for our family as we celebrated the arrival of Felicity. How happy my daughter was and how satisfied my husband and I felt that we taught a valuable lesson to our first born. We all stuck with the plan even though it was hard. Pride and gratification were everywhere. May 27th is our other daughter's birthday. To our delight a birthday package arrived for daughter number 2 who was turning 6. It was from a family that had been devastated by an accident. We cared for one of the children while the mother was in a coma for several months. We all excitedly gathered around daughter number 2 as she opened her gift. Imagine our surprise at seeing a Felicity doll . . . daughter number 1 still sulks about that. . . .

The Gift

I've got another story to tell - I wasn't going to tell it, but I just can't help it.

It all began when Pop-Pop and Grammy (really Grammy) decided to move out of their home of 45 years. Grammy called my sister-in-law and asked her to come and take what she wanted from the house - and my sister-in-law did . . . 3 times . . . once with 2 cars. Then Grammy called the antique dealer and asked him to come and take what he wanted, and he did. Then Grammy called the local junk man and asked him to take what he wanted, and he did. Then Grammy called The Salvation Army and asked them to take what they wanted, and they did. Then Grammy called me . . . and asked me come and take what I wanted . . . and I did not. I did not want to pick through her junk. On the day before they moved I went to their house, that is my husband's childhood home, and made sure their boxes were packed and labeled. On the day they moved I was there to direct the movers, sweep the floors, load their car and take out the last of the garbage. That's when Grammy said, "I have something for you in the kitchen closet." My heart raced with anticipation as I thought she really did have something especially for me. I gladly went to the closet and found a large trash bag there. I slowly walked over to the bag and untied it . . . and I could not believe what was in it. Toilet paper. The bag was filled with rolls of toilet paper. As I type this, it still stings. A friend of mine said I should have sent her a thank you note that says, "Thanks for the toilet paper. Every time I go to the bathroom I think of you." I almost wish I could do that....................

You Fail

My daughter is fond of telling me, "You fail." Humpf. . . I do not! When I didn't answer her email immediately she said, "You fail at answering my emails." And when I was late picking her up she said, "You fail at being on time." And when I burned the muffins, she said, "You fail at baking." So when she told me, "You fail at sending care packages," I said, "I do not!" Then she told me what other parents send their college students. "My friends get homemade cookies and brownies and potato chips and soda." Oh, okay, so maybe I do fail a little at sending care packages, because I did not send cookies, brownies, potato chips or soda. No, I sent her Lysol Wipes, vitamin C, green tea, whole-grain pretzels, natural granola bars, cheese, dried mangoes and two pairs of socks. In my defense, the granola bars had a layer of chocolate on them and the socks had cute little red hearts on them, with chubby little cupids . . . so . . . yeah . . . okay, I totally fail.........

The Jokester

When most children are 5 they can recite the alphabet - my kids, they could recite jokes on topics from hotels to mother-in-laws to drunks. I used to tell them when we went out to story hour, "Don't repeat those jokes that Pop-Pop told you, not everyone will think they are funny." We, one the other hand, loved them. . . it's what made Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop. When we went to restaurants he'd make funny faces when the server turned around, never letting them catch him. My kids cracked up, only to confuse the poor server. My kids knew how to play the straight man. If Pop-Pop said, "I once had a goat who didn't have a nose." My kids knew to ask, "How did he smell?" To which Pop-Pop would say, "Pretty bad." Here are a few of his (and our) personal favorites.

I went to the doctor and he told me I was overweight, so I said I'd like a second opinion and he said, "Okay, you're ugly, too."

My doctor told me that if I wanted to improve my love life I should run 5 miles a day. I called my doctor a month later and he asked me, "How's your love life?" I said, "I don't know, I'm 150 miles away from home."

I went to a psychiatrist and told him, "Nobody listens to me." The psychiatrist said, "Next!"

I said, "Doc, it hurts when I go like this." He said, "then don't do that."

When I was in the war the Captain said, "Fire at will." When I wasn't shooting the Captain asked me why. I told him I didn't know who Will was.

When I was in the Navy I saved the lives of everyone on board ship. . .I shot the cook.

When I was in the Navy I got wounded and went to the hospital, there I took a turn for the nurse. . .I mean the worse.

Do you know the definition of a mother-in-law? The F.B.I. in bloomers.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I just got back from a pleasure trip - I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I was on the bus the other day and saw a woman crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said, "The bus driver told me my baby was ugly." I said, "Don't cry and here is a banana for your monkey."

The hotel I stayed at was noisy. All night long some girl was banging on my door. . .finally, I had to let her out.

The hotel clerk said I had a room with running water. "Like heck," I said, "I ain't sleeping with no Indian."

"I almost went into the Ladies Room. I thought it said Laddies."

Pop-Pop used to say, "The fun is in the re-telling." Well. . . Pop-Pop had a lot of fun!! If you could measure a man's worth by the amount of times he cheered someone's heart and made them laugh, then Pop-Pop was the wealthiest man to ever live. We'll miss him......

The Day The Angels Helped - The End

. . .we did not go bungee jumping, but, once you know that God cares enough for you to send His angels to clean up a dirty old house, there's no excuse for fear. We did drive all the way across the state of Wyoming to get pizza from Pete's Pizza in West Yellowstone. We've floated in the Great Salt Lake with sea monkeys. We've climbed the Astoria Column. We've skim boarded on the west coast and snorkeled on the east coast. We go to New York City (now that's courage!). We feed homeless folks, mentor to drug addicts, visit prisons and witness to dying family members (the scariest yet). We're not fearless, but trusting. God gives us what we need, when we need it. Not before, not after, not too much, not too little . . . like manna. We do the trusting and God does the rest. We do the asking and God does the providing. We're obedient and God is faithful. It sounds so simple . . . right? Then why are we (okay, me) still consumed with fear sometimes? I think it's because we make what is simple, complicated. We complicate things with our limited view of logic. But God goes beyond logic and does what we see as impossible. Nick's house - that was an impossible mess, a mess no one could clean up but God. So . . . what are you afraid of? Where's the mess in your life? Get on your knees (they won't stick to the floor, I promise) and ask God to clean it up. Will it take an army of angels to clean up your mess? Can't you trust God with your dirty house? And, . . . my last question . . . where're we goin' next????

The Day The Angels Helped - Part V

. . . "Stop the car!!"
"Okay, what's the matter?!"
"Park it here and follow me!" My husband is very accommodating and my children are very obedient and so they did as I said. I walked right up to the ticket window that read, "Helicopter Rides Over Mount Rushmore." My family was shocked, as this was not something you would ever expect me to do. I said, "Listen, Nick gave us some money, he said to do something special. What would be more special than seeing the whole world from a glass helicopter, from an angel's point of view? I'm buying tickets." I could barely breathe, I gave no one any time to protest, lest I change my mind. Only two people could go at a time and there are five of us, so we needed to buy three rides. I turned to my family and said, "Are you all right with the Lord?" My son was the first to answer and so he was the one who would get to go twice. I had the tickets in my hand and we would be the next to fly. I asked my family again, "Are you all right with the Lord?" Yes, they said. I asked, "Is anyone nervous?" My daughter said, "Well, I wasn't until you started asking if I was right with the Lord!" My husband said, "Just in case, you and I should not go together." Sheesh, what are they so uptight about!
It was the most exhilarating thing we ever did. Just amazing. An angel's view of the world. Wow. . . as we drove away I yelled, "Stop the car!"



"Now what?!" my husband asked.
"Are you crazy??!!" I yelled. "How could you let us fly in a glass helicopter like that??!! Why on earth would you listen to me? If I said let's go jump off a bridge would you do it????!!!!"
My son from the back seat started doing a little jig and sang, "Oh yeah, Mama's goin' bungee jumping, oh yeah . . ."

Pop-Pop

Pop-Pop
Born - October, 1926

Died - February, 2009

We love this picture - it's from when Pop-Pop was living with us in September. He was happy then, free from the nursing home, eating well, laughing so hard that his teeth fell out (I don't know if you've ever seen someone laugh so hard that their teeth fell out, but if you haven't, you need to put it on one of those lists people make about things they want to do before they die). This picture (with our children not cropped out) is up on his board at the nursing home. Last week when we were there together my husband asked him, "Do you remember when we went out for ice cream and you ate both scoops of butter walnut?"

"No."

"No?"

"Are you hard of hearing? No."

"Don't you remember, Dad? We went and saw the goats and the cows and you ate 2 scoops of butter walnut ice cream. It was a beautiful day and the 3 kids were there, too. Look at the picture. You must remember."

Very casually, Pop-Pop looked at my husband and says, "I don't remember eating butter walnut ice cream . . . but I remember eating butter pecan ice cream."

That's Pop-Pop for you . . . in a nut shell . . . witty to the end . . . the last zing . . .

Peace.

The Day The Angels Helped - Part IV

. . . Nick returned home and thrived. The visiting nurse was also hired by Nick to do the housework. (Praise The Lord!) We did his food shopping for him and visited him regularly. During one of our evening visits he said, "We're friends, right?"
"Yeah, Nick, of course!"
"And friends don't say no, right?"
"Yeah, Nick, of course!"
"I have something for you and if you say no, we're not really friends."
"Yeah, Nick, okay (a little leery now)."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Nick handed my son an envelope. My son looked in the envelope and whispered, "Aaaa, it's loaded with money." There was no protesting, Nick was determined that we have this money for a two week trip we planned to South Dakota. We wouldn't have planned our trip if Nick still needed us. He wanted us to go and he wanted to make it special. He felt that this was something he could do for us. It was not payment for what we did, just what a friend wanted to do for another friend. He made us promise we would take his gift before we knew what it was. So, we took it reluctantly. . .and went to South Dakota. Our first day in Keystone, SD was a beautiful, clear day. You felt like you could see the whole world if you could just get high enough. An angel's view is what we needed. That's when I yelled, "Stop the car!!" . . .

The Day The Angels Helped - Part III

. . . I prayed and cried and prayed and cried until the kids were like, "Mom, you're creeping us out!" By this time, my husband was back with the supplies and I had managed to detach my knees from the floor. We assigned each kid to a room and began doing the 12 loads of laundry that needed doing. We thought, "Who would put black tile on your bathroom walls and floors?" Again, the need to vomit arose in my throat as we realized the tile was really green and the black was mold. Then, this is how things went: each room started to shape up very neatly and very quickly, garbage bags were filling up with garbage without anyone doing it, 12 loads of laundry were done in 3 hours, the mold in the bathroom seemed to melt off the walls and floors, windows sparkled cleaned and the most surprising - the kitchen floor was spotless. God had sent us an army of angels. . .unseen helpers to let us keep our promise to Nick. When we think of angels we think of shiny, gleaming, bright white beings with wings and halos. But, for sure these angels got dirty this day. Without Divine intervention, our efforts would have failed. Imagine Nick's surprise when the inspector cleared his home for his return. Imagine our delight in keeping our promise. But the story doesn't end here. . .

The Day The Angels Helped - Part II

. . . With our bucket, mop, broom, rags and cleaning supplies we went to Nick's. He was very reluctant to give us the key. He said he was embarrassed that we would see. "Really, Nick, how bad can it be?"

Ooooh, it was bad - really bad - really, really bad. I cried and my son had to run outside to vomit. For sure, it would be condemned. But, we made a promise to Nick, "We won't let you lose your house," we said. So, we began to clean. First, my husband had to go and get real supplies; rubber gloves, heavy duty garbage bags, bleach, S.O.S. scrubbing pads, more buckets and more mops. I took the kids into the kitchen we started with the dishes. Every dish, pot, pan, spoon and fork needed to be washed and dried and put away, but first we needed to wash the cabinets and drawers. From there we went to the stove top and oven, then the refrigerator. . .that is when I thought we would all vomit. I knelt down to pull out the rotten food from the refrigerator and realized I was stuck on my knees - that is, my knees were stuck to the floor. And that, my friends, is when I began to pray. . .

The Day The Angels Helped - Part I

Background: We met this sweet old man at a local fast food chain where we would often go for coffee and milkshakes with the kids. The place was clean and had an outdoor play area that was hosed down weekly. It was a great get-away from the office for my husband and a great get-away for me from the house. I loved going there right after I cleaned my house . . . knowing the house would stay clean for at least as long as the kids weren't there. This is where we met Nick. He and my husband became friends first, then our family embraced the friendship. Nick lost his wife and so began spending some of his time with us - going to dinner or coming over for dinner.

One day, Nick wasn't answering his phone and stopped showing up at BK. It took us quite some time to track him down. He had fallen and broken his hip and was in rehabilitation. We went to visit and it was there that he told us The Board of Health would be condemning his house. As it turns out, Nick's wife was the housekeeper. His house had not been cleaned since she got sick and died. He would have to go to an assisted living home and lose his house. "How bad can it be?" I blurted out, "we'll clean it for you! We won't let you lose your house, Nick. Really, sheesh, how bad can it be??????" . . .

Shout To The Lord

We've been concerned about Pop-Pop. He's very sad and has stopped eating. We've been concerned about all the things in the here and now - you know, making a happy place for him to live, feeding him the foods he loves, playing games and telling jokes with him, keeping him warm and comfortable. . . .but now our concerns have shifted to all things eternal. Does he know Jesus, has he called on his name, believed in his heart he'll be in Heaven? My husband and I had a rare minute alone with Pop-Pop and he told us he wishes he were dead. We asked, "If you were to die, do you know if you'd go to Heaven?" He said he didn't know. We asked, "Do you want to know, do you want to go to Heaven?" He said, "What?" "Dad, do you want to go to Heaven?" "Where?" Okay, so now we're shouting, in the nursing home, filled with patients, nurses, doctors, visitors . . . . and we are shouting, "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN??!!" (there is irony here somewhere - gives new meaning to "Shout to the Lord") "Yes," he says as a single tear rolls down his cheek. So, we prayed with him and shared this scripture with him:
". . .that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9 Pop-Pop confessed with his mouth and believed in his heart and we believe we will all be in Heaven together someday. As we left the nursing home one of the nosey patients must have overheard us shouting to Pop-Pop and demanded, "Where are you taking him..........................."

You Go Girls

My daughters are extraordinary. Trendy - no, trendsetters - yes! Even though they use some vogue phrases, they refuse to limit their vocabulary and use the now chic expression of the 2000's. When they are irked by something they refuse to use the pronouncement, "That sucks." Say they, "How uncreative!" And I agree. With all the really cool words out there, why use such a feckless expression? If you are really annoyed, why say something that is inconsequential? Why not communicate your feelings with feelings. If something is tedious or nettlesome, why say it s****? My daughters are adept and clever and refuse to be limited by culture's substandard use of our vast language. Because of them, I am going to try and be more creative with my words. When my kids were little I used to tell them, "Use your words." (That was when they would hit or whine instead of talking.) Now they are young adults and they are using their words in a wonderful way. Yay them! So, yesterday when I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Life S*****!" I thought, no it doesn't, it's just vexing at times. How's that for a bumper sticker, "Life Is Vexing!"

Bye

We lost a dear friend yesterday. There are no words to say how truly special this guy was. Any attempt at defining him would greatly fall short. Someone once told me that if there weren't a word for it, it must not be real (1975 high school psychology class - that should explain that statement). Anyway, there are plenty of things we are feeling that words defy. There are a whole slew of real things we feel that there are no words for. Our friend defies definition, much like his life defied limits. He followed no man, set no idols before him, believed that anything was possible with God. He was strong, good natured and did everything with gusto. He lived hard, loved hard, played hard, worked hard and . . . died hard. He even defied death for many, many months. On his death bed, he started physical therapy because he said, "If I can walk, I can run." He saw many miracles in his life time and had the help of armies of angels wherever he went. He responded to his many blessings with a child-like glee and meekness and surprise. And he was surprised that God would honor him in so many ways. Humbled doesn't even come close to describing his response to God - awe maybe, mingled with reverence, appreciation and anticipation. If he were sitting here with me and saw my tears, he'd ask, "Is God still in the Throne?" And when I answer, "Yes," he'd say,"Then all is right in the world..................."

It's All About Perspective

So, I have been driving up Pillow Avenue for 20+ years and recently it has become an annoyance. When I first started driving up Pillow I was always cautious because there were a lot of little kids that lived in those little houses. Well, those little kids grew up and they all have cars. You would think that these kids would have some concept of space since they grew up in little houses, but apparently they don't because they park their cars about 2 feet from the curb. Last year the town decided that Pillow Avenue needed sidewalks, which drastically narrowed the already narrow street. And now, there is this truck (a State vehicle no less!) that parks right across the street from another car . . . . this narrow little road is a total annoyance. So, I decided it was all about perspective. If you tell yourself that something is an annoyance, it will be. I drive up and down this street several times a day. I told myself it doesn't matter that the State truck was no doubt clocked in while the good tax payers of NJ paid his salary whilst he sits in his house on Pillow. I told myself that it doesn't matter that these kids today can afford big cars and apparently not work all day. I told myself it would be a pleasure, an adventure to drive up Pillow. . . . so I decided that the next time I drive up Pillow Avenue I will close my eyes..........................

No Way Yes Weigh

I am just over being sick. I was pretty sick. After visiting Pop-Pop in the nursing home I began to feel sick to my stomach - not all that unusual - however, this time the feeling got worse, and worse, and worse. I was stuck in bed for a few awful days. We got a call from the nursing home saying that they were put under quarantine because of an intestinal bug. I told them that was like closing the barn door after the horse got out. They were not amused. My family was so very sweet to me, offering me tea and toast and applesauce every few hours. Just when I thought I was feeling better and ate some stew - wham! I got hit again and had another few awful days in bed. I was feeling sick and weak and doubled over with stomach pains . . . but I had to get up . . . I sat up in bed, moaned, but kept going . . . I put one foot on the floor . . . then the other . . . I stood up while the room spinned around me . . . I put one foot in front of the other and forged on . . . each step was torture . . . but on I went . . . you may be wondering where I needed to go at that moment . . . slowly . . . I made my way over to the . . . scale . . . I lost a miserly 4 pounds!!! . . .

My poor husband thought I was delirious when he came into the bedroom and I was muttering to myself and laughing in a sick sort of way, over and over again, "No way, yes weigh . . . no way, yes weigh ........................